Lost: Cooking Intuition!

I'm going to write a cookbook for someone who cannot cook.

When it comes to food, he is as dumb as bricks and probably will need a picture book.

Maybe I'm being harsh and possibly cruel,

but all i know is that he can make gourmet food taste like cardboard and gruel.

My simple Mac & Cheese, with instructions on the box,

ends up becoming who-knows-what, and it tastes like sweaty gym socks.

The wrapped up thing in the fridge was mistaken as butter.

And now I'm eating my dinner with expensive goat cheese, and crumbly in a clutter.

What am i going to do, when barbecue ribs seem to go with every meal?

Are the delicious? Yes. But not with Chinese, because that completely lost appeal.

Maybe i should stop whining and just make my own food.

Or maybe i should just buy takeout, because that would surely end the feud.

-Pippa